‘I’ve found a new word for what I am,’ Jackie announced.
They were back at the David Citadel swimming pool and though the anonymous luxury had annoyed Dov before, after the Tzion Sheli experience it felt like some sort of watery paradise.
He opened his mouth to say something sexually insulting and then realised that they hadn’t actually done anything perverted for ages. A feeling of melancholy swept over him. He was losing her; in theory they were now a monogamous married couple but he knew where that led - along the rickety jetty to board the HMS Ain’t Gettin’ None, as someone in Frasier had once called unsought celibacy.
‘I’m a Noahide,’ she claimed, shoving her face into goldfish-bowl-sized G&T. ‘That’s a Gentile who believes that what the Jews want is right.’
‘It can be,’ he agreed warily, not liking where this was going. If she really believed that what the Jews wanted was right, why not take the Jew nearest to her as an example and start hustling some girl-on-girl action for his Hebraic delectation? ‘There’s the seven laws of Noah to consider, of course.’
‘I don’t worship idols - ‘
‘What about Kate Moss?’
‘That was ages ago. I don’t blaspheme, I’ve never killed anyone, I’ve stopped stealing and I don’t eat flesh torn from a living animal. I know I haven’t established a court of justice - but who has? Not anyone we know.’
‘What about not committing adultery?’
‘That too - it has to stop.’ She looked him straight in the eye - she had such pretty eyes. ‘I don’t want to swing anymore.’
He knew that reacting petulantly was the least attractive response possible, but it was difficult to be equable when he felt like running round the swimming pool screaming ‘NO FAIR!’ at the top of his lungs. Instead he said in what he hoped was an urbane voice ‘Anything in particular brought this on?’
She sighed and looked towards the Old City. ‘Just…I don’t know. Lots of things. Being here…’
‘But we always get to know the natives when we come to Israel…’
’I don’t mean being in Israel. I don’t even mean being in Jerusalem. I mean going to the settle…town and seeing what it really means to be Israeli. To be willing to die for your country.’
Or in the case of the Chicago loon with the massive arms stash and his equally rabid daughter, willing to kill, Dov thought. But he didn’t say it - why didn’t he say it? Because he didn’t want Jackie to disapprove of him. Again, why? He’d never given a damn before.
‘And seeing Josh with a girl, at last. It’s just, like, a sign that we need to move over, move forward…’
‘Reach out with blue sky thinking?’ He couldn’t help it this time.
She sighed. ‘Well, whatever it is, the long and the short of it is that I’m not interested in swinging anymore. Though of course if you still want to…by yourself…I mean, with someone else by yourself…’
‘O.K. I get it.’ He walked away from her and towards the edge of the pool.